The Day After

Although JH beat me to it, I will still tell my side about what happened lastnight. I'll start by saying that the concert started at 8:00. We left the house at 6:30. It was only a 45 minute drive so this should have been plenty of time to get there...little did we know. We made it to the road that the concert was on in about 30 minutes. That's where it started going downhill. Anyone who knows me knows that I have zero patience. What should have been a 15 minute drive took us an hour and a half. It seems that a lot of people were going to the concert. Note to self- Don't EVER go to a concert at the Hard Rock again. The problem was that not only were we fighting the cars that wanted to go to the concert but also the cars that wanted to go to the casino and the cars that wanted to go to the bars. The concert was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino. This place is packed on the weekends regardless of whether or not there is a concert going on. I have to give JH credit. For having such a small car, she is a real aggressive bitch. No one and I mean NO ONE was going to cut her off. I learned the true meaning of the word clusterfuck when we were trying to find a parking place. If we had used any ounce of sanity we would have used valet. Instead we roamed the parking lot looking for a place to park for about 30 minutes. I was wishing that I had driven because I own a SUV. I would have just made my own parking place somewhere over some curb.

It was probably about 9:00 when we finally got inside. Of course the concert had already started. It took another 10 minutes waiting in line to get our beers. I needed one after the ride there. This was really a bad idea because I hadn't eaten since noon. When we finally got inside the auditorium the security led us to our seats which happened to be taken. That's right...someone was in our seats. It took another five minutes for them to get these people moved. It seems that they couldn't tell the difference between 10 and 11. JH and I had seats 9 and 10 while these jokers had seats 11 and 12. After all was said and done, we got to our seats which we really never sat in the entire time. This is one reason that I prefer getting pit tickets. I NEVER sit at a concert. I'm too busy dancing with JH. Plus pit is a lot closer to the stage.

I must admit that Def Leppard kicked ass. They were much better than I had thought they would be. Most older bands just don't have it anymore. Metallica is a perfect example of this. Instrumentally they are tight but James Hetfield, their lead singer, just can't belt out the songs anymore. Def Leppard was still very good. I wouldn't say that they are just as good as they were 15 years ago but I was impressed.

Normally when we go to a concert it takes an act of god to go to the restroom or go get a drink. Our seats were extremely convenient for both of these. We were able to walk out mid-concert to get drinks and come back in within minutes. We only had to do this once because the jokers next to us, the ones that had our seats, ended up buying us drinks. It seems we made the concert more entertaining for them...at least that's what they told us.

The walk out of the concert was just as entertaining as the actual concert. On the way out, some dipshit kept putting his head on our shoulders and mumbling. He sounded like Charlie Brown's teacher...wa wah wa waaa wa wah wa waaa. Then all his friends were trying to tell us just to ignore him which we were doing a pretty good job of already. I guess this is where Drunk Bitch really started to come out. Knowing that they would all understand what I said, I turned around and told him he had a little dick in Spanish. This actually amused him more than his friends who kept saying "Don't say that"....control your friend and I won't say it assholes!

Overall I was disappointed that I didn't see more mullets. We really only saw one confirmed mullet inside the venue. However, after the concert I spotted the father of all mullets. This old geezer came up to us asking if we had just came out of the concert. I noticed a ponytail hanging out of the back of his baseball cap. I really couldn't help myself by this point. I asked him to take of his hat. JH was elbowing me saying "DON'T DON'T" There it was. The perfect mullet. I wish I would have had a camera with me then. Here's how the conversation went.
me-"Dude, is that a mullet?"
mulletman-"Man, don't be making fun of my hair."
me- "No man, it rocks!"
mulletman-"Cool"
me-"Rock on dude"
mulletman-"Rock on"
This is the point where his friend came up with his girlfriend. His friend, I'll call him Shitstain, began telling us how beautiful we were. His girlfriend kept apologizing to us. I'm still not sure if she was apologizing for Mulletman or Shitstain. It was one of the sleeziest things that I had ever seen....holding his girl's hand while he was trying to score with other women. Given the choice I would rather have Mulletman who on the doability scale would score a 1/2. I'm still creeped out by him. He must have a hard time walking because he has the biggest balls I've ever seen.

We had to eat as soon as we got out of the concert. I knew that I would be hugging the porcelain god if I didn't get some food in my stomach soon. We hit a fast food place on the way to Ft Lauderdale. I had a double cheeseburger and large fries. I know that this food is awful for me but when you are drunk and hungry you take what you can get...and it was pretty damn good. The only problem was that the food killed my buzz.

We made it to Ft Lauderdale in a decent amount of time. Of course we went to the same bar. There was a different DJ this time. He was a little better than the last one but still not as good as the first. Josh was there again. I'm sure he's full of shit but he's harmless either way. The night was pretty much over for me. I couldn't even finish my drink. If I get buzzed and eat it kills the buzz. Then I won't be able to drink anymore.
I'll do better next time. I'll leave earlier and eat beforehand.

Irony of the night- I was singing Cum on feel the noize by Quiet Riot while walking to the bar. I was telling her that we need to have a week of just kick-ass 80's metal. When we were in the bar they started playing that song. I guess it's meant to be!