Blues

I feeling a little down right now. I started thinking about my brother. It will be four years this December that he died. You would think it wouldn't bother me as much by now. Time really doesn't heal all wounds. You just don't think about them as much. I'm not an emotional person. I never have been. This seems to be the only thing that really gets me down. Sometimes life just isn't fair. How could someone so young be taken away so drastically? How could that happen to someone that has a small child to raise? The thing that bothers me the most is all the regret. I regret not calling him more..I had moved to Florida about four months before. I regret all the bad things that I had ever thought about him or said to him. The thing that I regret the most is that I don't ever remember telling him that I loved him...This is something that really wasn't said in our family until after his death. This is what I want the most. More than anything I want the chance to say "Yes, I did love you even though I never said it." I know that I will never have that chance. I will probably regret this the rest of my life. He was my only sibling. I'm an only child now. It seems selfish to think of it in that way but I do. His death did bring my family closer but it wasn't worth the cost.

All I can say is tell your friends and family that you love them. You may not have the chance to tomorrow. Don't put it off until it's too late. When you lose your chance, you will regret it. I promise.